Introvert

I always feel this way
I feel as if everything I submit to others
Selfishly gets thrown away
I feel like I submit love and acceptance
Understanding and good moral
To people that I know or once knew
And yet they step all over my shoes
I feel like what I give is never what I get back
No matter what I try to do
I always get back from people
An attack
I let myself die to wants, desires and needs
And try to open myself up
As a safety net to people
But they trample over me like leaves
They chew me up and spit me out
Over and over again
And never think about
My feelings
My wishes
My stance or my opinion
They even try to get slick
By asking what I think
But I know its just another facade
Another way of pacifying me
Just long enough
So they think that I won't think what I could be thinking
But its past too late
You always know how a person see's you by the way that they respond
And this black cloud of hate always keeps me from seeing dawn
'Cause I once was a spawn
A fawn of emotional freedom and recompense
But these feelings I have now
Kept me at bay, ever sense
The first foreshadow of dealing with the human condition arrived
I was so ill equipped I would constant duck down
Run and hide
Because good character and moral won't deal with this type of malice
It's only a fruit of whats on the inside
But I've forever long been so good at dealing with the outside
Rather than the inside
I tried to look like I had it all together
And tried to be a really good person
I tried to help people throughout it all too
But it's impossible to do this and succeed
Because sin has a festering, perpetual, unstoppable bleed
That can't be fixed by merely making life changes
It can only be fixed by being inter fixed, betwixt the Love of the Most High
You'll die if you love politics
And you'll waste your life trying to be good on your own standards
Like I used to
I tried and tried
But my heart was so seared
I was afraid of letting people know what I was dealing with
Because they already had me on such a high petastool anyway
I just lived up to their expectations
And dealt with it all
Introverted
The place where I became misguided and perverted
In shackles of oppression
The place that I dare not enter
But constantly go...