.mixed feelings.

only a tumbling ocean
can describe my current range of emotion
im sick from life's potion
but ill tattoo my face
with facade's potent lotions
so you wont have to deal with what im feeling
you won't have to burden yourself
with my psychological condition
im like Michelangelo's depiction
of Adam reaching for His intuition
but im stuck in a portrait
standing still in my position
against my will, im well-wishing
and i fell when grace was given
im disconnected from my home base
stranded on an island
where the natives chase me night and day
so to cope ive gone under-cover
ive adopted their customs
ive molded my will to theirs
their burdens i now have
and dispositions i must share
ive traded what i thought i knew
for the powers of this age
i talk like they talk
and walk around in a prisoners shame
im a POW-U
a Prisoner of Words Unsaid
but they don't seem to care
since i got their mark on my head
so as far as their concerned
im just like 'em
but underneath im fighting
a compromised heart
that's married strife
and
all kinds of foul play
and hardships
my love tastes like hard chips
im stone cold
like frozen cartilage of a narcissist
im stiff necked
and mad at the world
i feel left for dead
and gasping for my last breathe
im sweating bullets
wondering if ill pass the test
but in this tribe
im dead already
cause before i came in
i had a suicide letter written and signed
they knew the whole time what i was about
cause i couldn't fight my hearts tugging
no matter how much i try to lie to myself
i was always struggling
muzzling my desperate calls under my release of CO2